....thoughts

(sitting in this beach alone this is wat was gng in my mind)

me n the nature...

or me and GOD

this GOD wat im seeing.... ??

or is it HEAVEN wat im seeing.... ??

this is where im at peace...

if this is not heaven...

then no place is....

nature is GOD.....

or GOD made this......

but only the ALMIGHTY S hands can be so perfect ..


im in peace after years........

no luxuries can make the feelings so rite.....

priceless....!!! oh priceless!!! that s wat i feel....


beside me is a solitary kingfisher...waitin for its prey....


or not alone.......

with water wetting my feet....

the golden sand around....

the roots of rhizophores spouting out....

the sky thats blue... of the perfect colour.......

the sun shining to its might..

the perfect rhythm of the waves...

few boats but without their sailors....

the tunder that i hear......

the row of trees around...

well am i really SOLITARY..... ??

I ALWAYS CRAVED FOR PEOPLE BUT NOW I WANT TO BE ALONE

ALONE WITH MY COMPANIONS....

yes i crave to be lonely now.......

far away from the maddenin crowd....

the mind is finally at peace............

but adieu now dear friends....ADIEU

till the nxt time i visit u again.............

but will u remember me....

will u remember the footprints that i left on

the wet sand......

which will be washed away soon by the waves.....

dont wash away the memories of this lone traveller.....

coz u ll be always there in hers...........

....... after months of surviving i wanted to take a break ... gng to blore was an impromtu decision... had a friend in IIM K who invited...n without thinking i made the decision to go to bangalore n then to cochin/kozhikode.... i think sometimes the best decision comes wen u dnt think too much....
i just went out n got the tickets for blore done...luckily i got the tickets for the nxt day... came bak home at around 1.30 am.... n dumped some clothes n provisions on my bag n there i was ready for the tour... some times u r just 2 lucky.... i think luck was in my side this time... i had ticket for sleeper but then i was given berth in a/c..... rest i dont remember but bcoz i slept all the way...
nxt day mornin i reached bangalore...i had been to bangalore b4 so i wasnt all that excited.... but was feeling good as the weather was ..infact all kind of weather is good after mumbai heat n sweat....heheheh!!! but really bangalore has a real kool weather.... aft freshin up took a rick to MGroad.... the most happenin place in blore well its just another place with a lots of branded shops...cafes...pubs.... n all the places for the urban youth which u find in ne other city..... well but looking at the crowd n the places u ll at once knw y it is called the software city... no pun intended..... sorry if i hurted the sentiments of ne blore softi.....
met my friends went to cafes...pubs...malls....just like ne other youth...but it was ok coz im so used to these places that i dont realise that its another city... i mean u to a mall in ne city u ll find a ccd or barista...macd n pizzahut... a westside or lifestyle...a crossword or landmark..... n last but not the least pvr or fame..... oh !!! this had an exclusive jockey store...i difference...not that bad....
nxt day i made the rounds of malls n pubs....hey n a cafe tooo....
day aft i wanted to do something different.....wat wat wat.... ok i took my backpack n camera .... n started clicking all the way to MG road.... got down at the junction of brigade n mg road...got stares as if im a foreign tourists.... coz they r the only ones expected to do this.... well i felt good getting the stares n all that...come on im a human too.... do did a lot of clickin business... but my battery went off so had to shut the shutters.... aft this experience got a bit adventures n got a ticket for cochin done...
the bus was from a place called kalasipalayam(hope the spelling is correct)...... it was a sidey place but still wanted to try out everything... had some dosa n coffee in an even more sidey place....heheh!!! ok at last i got into the bus...... well seeing a lonely girl my co passenger were trying to "be friendly" in there words.... i tried to avoid...but a mid aged man with moustache....i loath them as it is came and sat nxt to me.... gave a slimy n said just friendly... i was uncomfortable but then still said yes... aft some time his hands were on my side of the seat... to which he again gave a slimy smile n said..."just friendly" ....this was heights of friendship n i said "no friendly" he frowned n went n sat in his place.... the rest of the journey was uneventful...except they had to change the tyre in some place....n they stopped the bus in the middle of nowhere... i wondered y ... soon i saw aherd of elephants crossing the road.... me being from a place called MUMBAI not used to this got excited but other s had bored kind of expression in their faces..... seeing my excitement an elderly lady said that it was a common thing n that they delayed their journey.... man!!!! i sat on my seat n went off to sleep again..... the nxt thing i knw is the conductor waking me up n sayinfg something in mallu.... i didnt understand wat he was saying n got irritated as he disturbed me from my wonderful dream.... oh!! i realisd that i reached the IIM K gate.....
as i got out of the bus i realised that it had been rainin....which is again a very common thing in the whole of Kerela....there i saw my friend waitin for me at the gate with his umbrella.....so started my KERELA TOUR.........................(to be contd)

........dream i was into

hi it been quite some time since i wrote..... well u can say that i was preoccuppied...... not with work ... with friends.... well with a dream........ that was helped to dream .... a perfect dream a perfect world......... me n him....no one else nothing else..... just dreams ...just fantasies.... just love ............... transported to a world of heaven..... which i have never dreamt...... i s there one?? i always questioned..... naah!!! i never thought ...coz i was so busy with myself.... my happiness .... never wanted neone to penetrate deep with that me.....not my friends...not my parents....... but now i had lead the door open..... open to someone whom i hardly knew...dont know y i did but yes i did it...n i never realisd it....wen the door opened wen he came in...... yes it was opened..... n once it was opened there was no looking bak..... the dreams were shown n i followed without hesitation..... to the world were everything was perfect ...where i was the princess.... where everything was bright n happy... was it heaven.... yes i thought heaven must be this ......dont knw practically whether there is one but then i was experiencing one in this life it self........ loved every moment ....the human inside me craved for more n more ...n i got more n more.... humans r greedy by nature specially wen it comes to love n happiness n i was no exception...... i was greedy .....yeah i was......... but who isnt..... i left everything behind in tried to reach the stars thats wen my dream broke....... thud!!!!! i fell to reality again.......to realise that i was chasing a dream ...a fantasy.... which is not possible to get in reality..... or might if im lucky or with GODS grace..... well that im not sure.... now that im bak to reality ...... im bak with responsibility of my self...my friends... my family....my love....... work for the happiness.... work for the love...... harsh reality but cant help ..can i........ but the dream was good.... i thank atleast i saw the dream... atleast i was perfectly happy for sometime in this imperfect world..... n i ll cherish it for the rest of my lifetime..... hope i get that again but not as a dream but as a reality..... im ready to work for it.......thank u for the dream...... hope it forever.... but i want to say that fantasies n dreams do happen in life if u work for it..... let s c.... i have trust in my GOD.........n i have trust in myself n u..... dreams is over n reality started..... huh!!! so much for a dream.........

hellooo

.............hello to me....yeah to me...writing this to myself...for my space...

just sitting and just typing away few words if that means nething. well this is titled helllo coz this blog contains my childhood days . when i said hello to the world. when i was born i dont remember that but than my earliest memories of myself is lying on the bed and staring out of the window ...trying to discover the world..i remember looking at the pine tree in our compound...well that time it seemed gigantic to me..well thats my earliest memory ....i dont remember how old i was but then i was really really small.....i dont remember wat i was thinkin or was i thinkin at all...dont remember nething..just that i was lying n lookin at the tree....well i really am amazed at times how our mind works....or how just some incidents remains in our mind like photographs...
the other memories of mine our when i was a little older...i was at my grandmas house in cal...i was with my cousins who had come down from canada n they were trying to converse with me..but i hadnt started my schooling so i didnt know english..n forget understanding the heavily accented ones..i was trying to figure out wat they were saying....but somehow they in their accented english n me in my bengali foundout a unique way of conversation...they wanted to act out a fairytale for our parents but i didnt have a clue wat the story i s abt n wat im supposed to say ....neway i was made the tree ..i was just supposed to say "shake my apples..shake my apples" at the rite cue..well that was my first taste with acting...a role of a tree...later on wen i started going to school n reading fairytales..i understood the story ..n my part....
i must have been 3-4 yrs...we used to stay in a joined family..my grandpa was around 88 yrs then..he was still agile and had a sharp memory ....he used to keep this hajmola bottle in a cupboard which was almost equal to his age next to h is bed....we all cousins were always tempted to steal it...while my cousins n sister stole hajmolas from the cupboard ..i used to go with an innocent face to my grandpa n ask him to give me one...he used to feel happy that i was atleast decent enuf to ask..so happy he used to tell me take one..but little did my granpa knw that instead of one i used to take 5-6...while my cousins used to steal just one.....c i was improving on my acting...which got better with time......

amchi mumbai

MUMBAI----- the lands of the glitz , the glamour......the land of dreams...wat sets this place apart from the other metros is the energy...day n night ...24*7 this city generates energy... the ppl out here never seem to tire.....its crowded still u can be lonely....the big cars...the latest discs...as well as the overcrowded chawl everything seem to co-exist without disturbing each other...............

the land of dreams...every small townie come here with dreams in their eyes to make it big......and soon gets pulled into the magnetic force of the mumbai culture....soon u start spking in its tapori language n enjoying the batata vadas n pav bhajis...its a city of magic.....in a night club somebody spends around 50000 bucks a nite on drinks for somebody its entire lifes earning........being from a small n quite place everything in mumbai amazed me......from the simple bargaining in fashion street to designer jj valayas boutique.....i really like to be a silent spectator in this land of dreams n enjoy the everyday drama of this forbidden land called amchi mumbai

i .me myself

........I sanjukta......sanju so lovingly called......my wishes ..my dreams ...my SELF.........my dream is 2 b a designer ...an eutrepreuer........my interests...im interested in everything liffe has to offer...i never got bored ...how can i there r so much to do ...so many experiences....so many ups...so many downs...so how can i ever get bored ....im just in love with life...i love living it inspite of the ups n downs it has to offer...it would have been so blank without the downs.....how would we experience the highs if we didnt know the lows....i mean if there r 2 canvas one white empty n the other one with black strokes which would have caught our attention....the 2nd...y coz thats different thats more interesting than the blank one......i want to enjoy everything..i want to go thru every experience....y not ..i dont know whether i ll be living another life or not........i love my freedom....i love being a loner.....how can u enjoy the finer things in life if u dont observe the minute details....n how can u do that if u r talking 2 someone or thinking abt someone...i love the different shades lfe has to offer...im in love with the colours....im in love with nature which GOD had so beautifully created....imgine the details.....im a dreamer but tell me who is not....who doesnt dream....for a better future...a job.....a better world.....everybody has there own dreams.....no dreams ...no life.........how can a person life without a dream....i dream of a place...i dream of a person......i dream of a love....i dream of a work...........im an idealist but tell me who is not......im a patriot........im in love with my country.....im in love with its imperfection....i love it mountains,its river, its seas, its desert,its vastness,its diversity n its rich history.......thats me sanjukta .........its a name for u ..........but for me its a compilation of all i aspire,dream and love

i was abt to write yet another blog... wen i heard few fire engines rush by... i didnt bother... my indian mentality doesnt let me bother with all this petty things... there must be a fire somewhere my instincts told me... my fingers kept typing... anotherengine passed by.... big fire...my fingers kept typing.... another along with a ambulance this time... big fire...my fingers kept typing...i heard someone saying there is a blast at borivli station which is three mins away from where i was typing..... again my indian mind told me... rumour, this people dont have better things to do.....again my fingers kept typing....somewhere i heard the news channels being turned on ...this time my fingers stopped typing.... i strained my ears tohear wat they had to say.. well a bomb blast had really occured n not 1 but 7.....my fingers stopped typing... i kept hearing..one at borivli station... one at santacruz station... man!!! had i not bunked today i could have been at both these places...my fingers stopped typing....i got up n started watching the news... there was blood ,disfigured bodies laying everywhere...i couldnt think nething....my mind went blank... my hands were shivering... i got out on the street.... it was more crowded than usual... most of them had worried look on their face...." mein malad se chalke aa raha hoon" a middle aged man said to the other".... im i dreaming or this is reality... i couldnt think nething.... took my cell n dialled my home...mom picked up.. i said mom there has been a blast near myhouse...mom said ok n did u attend ur class... i said to her mom there have been a blast , people have died...well this time she took it seriously n didnt not see it as an excuse for bunking college that day... i went to the atm n got some money...n bought some food...survival...thats the top priority in everyone s mind at all times...wat if the shops r closed... got a call from my aunt,my friends,everybody....
till date ihad seen such situation in movies or in news, but forthe first time experienced it...................................

mind says it all

".......as i look thru the window i see the rains descending from the sky like big tear drops"

i love looking out from the window when its rainin....its rainin today n im looking out of the window....but its not the same....here in mumbai rains bring chaos not fun n coziness.....i see people running for covers ..the cabs splashing puddles on everybody....the sky looks angry....the bldgs looks dirtier.........
but when i used to look out of the window of my room in shillong i saw the rose plant all wet..with new leaves..looking greener....the new bud coming out...the fragile little thing shaking with fear as the tiny drops fall on it.....further away in the garden the lawn looked greener ....every blade of grass looked fresh as if just washed.....in a distance there was the pine tree.....there in the distance i could see the wet mountain....wearing a cover of green ferns.....the grasshopper hopping with joy...joined by the happy butterfly.....i saw colorful little umbrellas carried by the little children returning from school who were happy that school is over.....youths carring pakoras n momos in their hand to have a cozy evening with their coffee mugs or whiskey glass......
is it really different i dont knw....maybe its just a psycological thing that makes me think that everything in shillong is beautiful n here its not ..... well but then u always need a beautiful mind to see beautiful things....n beautiful mind is developed in a beautiful surrounding n beautiful people with beautiful heard.....which u get only in places like shillong...here at all times there is so much ugliness.....that even beautiful things like the rain becomes ugly n chaotic....................
just develope a beautiful mind to appreciate the beauty in the world n make every thing beautiful with ur touch or just ur smile......................